hiatus

[Jesse McCartney-Bleeding Love]

on hiatus!
because its fricking holiday people!
soo i feel like shutting down myself
and have a really good times which is
sleeping and feel like don't wanna wake up
stop looking forward for the next post
until it does show up!
soo
thank you very much *Elvis Presley's tone*

much lovees from aku

pencen

[Mario-Crying Out For Me]

hotness is overrated

two days and im counting...
holiday will you just step into the door?
*sigh*

amoy : "Ma, kalau org pencen bleh kawin lagi kah?" -_-"

i don't care anymore

kosong

lost the picture of you

*sigh*

we stay this way

[NLT.Travis-A Thousand Goodbye's]

last week call:
weekly family gathering, tarawih, tedarus and Nana's birthday

cool eh

please mind him:)

its prayer and tv! onney tu punya pasal!

mama onney: "sembahyang ah..."

amit: "baca doa karang marah nini angah tu...biar kau!"
hehe

ebatt pait.

yayy...!

i messaged nana:

'birtday.happy to you'
(we were in the same car!)

then she said:

"damam ko ka?"

i was just being unique and different from typical birthday greets!

grow

:)

grave.

[Blue-Breathe Easy]

since Ade is soo jealous of this 'what if i die' question
soo i write one for him lahh.
as he wrote
"kamu baie.mati inda bagitau" haha
bestfriendku jua.kasian(:

so what if Ade die?
my so-boring bestfriend who only talks and whine about him and girls,him and girls,him and girls and gossips.and shits too

let's see...since he cursed us if we feel cry or sad, soo maybe i just feel my world stop for a moment.
you know kan? that moment where we feel everything stops for awhile and you skipped one breathe.soo that's it. i may feel that way...

maybe then i start to laugh.sigh.life's full with fake things! haha. If i try to message pun, maybe he's not replying cause that is soo him.karit! i try to distract myself with...things

rumors spread fast and when the time comes where people starts to push me with their big question mark above their head, i just tell them to back the hell off and laugh lagi.Then start to call his phone which only be answered by an annoying woman who keeps repeating the same answer.

moments pass...panic attack!
things like...

"what if it is true that he died? paluii ehh.macam-macam"

come across my mind(:

because we have this 'moments' where whenever we talk about death or sins...he doesn't seem care about it. he's just like:

"ehh...biar tah bahh.Andang mati jua ku ne krg psl banyak dusa pastu masuk neraka"

but even i know the truth later that day...i know i'll be crying.of course!
please Ade! even during orientation, you were crying till your eyes were swollen red!
soo puhhhh-leeeaaaaseeee...
don't be such a drama king who just shows his ego and whine about your ok-ok hair style of the day!

ok.enough pushing him!
soo...maybe after that i go for silence for years cause im sure sii Jiqqs will be just like me.
dude!we are your BABY-SITTER!
people will also see us like some kinda of ghost who hasn't lost their soul yet.
well maybe half of our soul were taken.haha
all those dark circle around our eyes.sigh.

most of all i think i may go for suicide attempt for thousand times during history class.
you know how "oh-so-interesting" it is.kan Ade?
for sure
i got no one to talk to during that class or
have the chance
to disturb your hair,
try to cut your hair with mei ling's scissors
or pull your hair occasionally when i got nothing to do
and even never to watch you eat nasi and big,yummy fried chicken during class lagi
plus hearing your complains about the canteen's foods
and hear you shout our own nicnames...setan!
so soo sooo

that's it.
and yes.i too feel regret if you die cause i'll never have the chance to know your bride-to-be
and oh!no have to dig-dig you punya kubur lahh.
like you said man!
if you dead.so?dead lahh!

that much i love my bestfriends

home.

[Destiny's Child-Cater 2 You]

that song from Micheal Buble-Home

is for you Fiq!
that song reminds me of you and of course our song jua
tomorrow marked the 7th day since you left :(
im not trying to kill you or put you into tears(lagi!)
its just that i miss you soo badly bahh 'peak'
i miss you everyday
but i miss you more whenever Thursday comes
i miss our 'gossip girls' session
don't care where...
either time baca Yaasiin or makan time or time cuci-cuci
(which tane dua only have to wait for them to finish doing it)
but
most of all when we are together in dalan's room :)

im trying to move on ne...

drama

[Craig David-Rendezvous]

so this is the first time

im crapping myself out.
i read sii Jiqqs's and that's totally switch on the gear in my hands

soo what will i do if Jiqqah, my petite-fragile-gila-bitchy and so-called-berangin bestfriend die?

here it goes...when one day she's not schooling out of the blue and the talk begins to spread that she died...the first thing i'll do is laughing.yes! im laughing Jiqqs.hear me?
why? as she said before we live in denial. we can't take any truth or any lies. life's complicated.

then im just gonna make sure that its not April and may be check on Ade's face.
and I come home and try to message her like this:

"dude...mana you?people said you died! palui jua tu.haha"

If she's not replying which is not suprising for me then i try to call her. which the truth is there now and the worst is waiting for me just around the corner.Maybe babah Azary will answer my call at that time.

I will absolutely cried myself out and i sobbed soo hard that i may fainted cause it hurts like hell. when i gain conscious, i hysterically demanded for a ride to her house...like really fast! cause to me it is not happening!

I don't well damn care if she's disappeared from the online world..i will sure mind if she's gone in this REAL world. im sure i will be like:

"Jiqqs,don't leave me, i'll be alone in this world-our world.who's gonna be my gossip partner? my all-in-crime partner? or who's gonna hit my hand when i disturb other people's stuff or tell me to stop from staring at people? don't leave me just yet. no.not yet.we're not even yet travel together alone with Ade jua."

sure i can move on and live with Ade but then it will just me to take care of him.you know that. that's why i need you.and more than that i don't know what else. no more our wink-wink kinda stuff about hot guys. or maybe who's gonna updated me?

ok.next.mourning for the whole year.that's for abso-fucking-lutely sure! maybe i will turn into an emo and give hard time to Ade cause he just can't keep up with me.Hard time cause his friend is a bitter,cynic weirdo which cause him to lost his mojo over girls.haha.
eventually i die too.sigh.cause i refused to see any shrink(:

very dark imagination and top of all it says i'll be missing you like crazy

a positive picture of it, maybe sound like this:
yes.i mourn maybe for i-dont-know-how-long time.and i move on too.
looking at every bright side in every situation and maybe start to clean myself out from the tears
and start to shoosh-ing away the dark cloud above my head.
and do all the things we used to plan in not-so-serious way
i bring along Ade and maybe Waney or the whole pack.
reminisce every memory we shared
and i think its hard to just erase you from my life
cause you are part of my life(:
soo just don't yet die!

what would you do if i die and never see you again?

i am very good at exaggerating things.am i?