my emotional rollercoaster weekend

ha!
first post of 2017.
you know i have been meaning to this.
waaayy ever since on the 31st really.
i even have draft saved in here.
and not even halfway i stopped.
my malas just got the best of me.
yknow, the usual.

what i really know,
or really wanna do for this year is that
to say yes to more things.

because i hope by doing that
it will take me places from my own comfort place.
heh.

so the final trigger that really made me to finally do this
is what happened this weekend.

ha!

so the three of us went to KK.
me, Eqah and Lukman.
just because.
well, actually because Eqah purchased her ticket using Sky miles (free!)
and we were just tagging along.

but Lukman and I (me insisted) opted to just drive there.
big mistake.

get the picture?
I had to sit loooong hours journey, 8 hours to be specific, with Lukman.
and then another 8 hours journey back again.

unbelievable.

i lost count on how many times i have rolled my eyes throughout the journey.
throughout the 3 days!

and during the nights i had to deal with one who is loud snorer and one who currently has cough.
think i zombied couple times the next day and got cranky.
sikit.

and then we have today!
our last day in KK.
and during breakfast - Eqah out of nowhere just started "so anywayy..."
and proceeded to drop a major news.

*cries

well i actually had/have quite a mixed emotions about this.

i mean i can't really say that i didn't know about this.
like i knew what she was going to say when she said that.
i saw it coming.
because let's face it, it's inevitable.

but then i was kinda in shock too.
especially after i found out the when.
because wow it's happening.
like omg. this is real.
this is  H A P P E N N I N G.
one of us is ready for next life phase.
and i'm just...sad.

*goes to the corner and cries an ocean

i remember thinking about this one night.
like i was just thinking to myself - what am i gonna do if that happens??
and then i just got sad about it.
minutes later, i sobered up and told myself i'd deal with it when it comes.
hahahahahahahaha

and well,
it came.
hahahahaha

sigh

oh sucks.

but i need to get out from my sad clouds and bubbles and
just be happy for her.
this is about her.
and her life choices.
and i guess she is ready.

and nothing is far more important than that.

just need to figure out the rest of the feelings as i go.

#sispasrah

my bestfriend <3

the after party

waking up the next morning

feeling content.

and just heave a blissful sigh.

i love it.

but the  w i t h d r a w a l

*cries

--

the past two weeks have been tiring.

roller-coaster.

*rolls eyes

but seriously.

i know this is just like the usual.

my usual drama hahaha

but ugh.

whatever.

and i don't let myself think.

if i don't think,

then i won't remember.

then i will be fine.

so don't think.

don't even try to remember.

my emotional roller-coaster had also led me

to take a not-so-spur-of-the-moment decision.

i just feel like i had to.

nothing major - i just cut my hair short bahahaha.

cut off the weights (literally and figuratively) on my shoulders.

and this is my first time to ever have this short short hair.

never been this short in a long while

that it's so awkward to see me like this.

heh.

--

the same past two weeks,

i had been spending my weekends outside Brunei.

the first week i was in Singapore and

just last weekend i was in KL.

crazy, i know!

but so so tiring.

but at the same time so so worth it.

i mean

i am so "jet lagged" that i tried to get off from the seat belt 

in my friend's car like you got off of it in a plane.

i literally put my hands on my stomach, searching for metal flap,

instead of pushing the button on my right (passenger side)

-_________-"

lulz. Dumbass.

--

this also happened last Sunday:

SHEILA ON 7'S 20TH ANNIVERSARY CONCERT!

THE reason why I was in KL.

holy shit you guys!

where do i even begin??

like, this is was in my bucket list!

even tweeted about wanting to go for their concert like 2 years ago??

just holy goodness in life and everything in it!

the opening was by Noh Salleh (um major love!)

i felt like i was the only one singing along to him.

hahaha perasan but seriously though

AND Duta you guysss!

D U T A

does he ever age at all?!

although it was *kinda* suck

because we had purchased the wrong ticket :(

should have bought the Duta zone which was closer to the stage.

but pretty happy nonetheless for being there.

at one moment,

i literally put my hands on my face

and thought "i'm actually here watching this"

the feeling when i was there

and the feeling afterwards

and the withdrawals, the everything

those are just what i am so grateful right now.

xx

Hello, It's Me

This was my Facebook post 6 years ago (thank you Timehop!)

and it's basically the summary of our relationship;

Me and Ade having unnecessary petty, small fight,

Eqah as the tiebreaker (more like silencer),

and to add up this ridiculous post, my then crush liked this post!

hahahaha

---

we're almost at the end of 2015!

and it feels so weird to be at work.

no one actually in the office.

--

oh but to highlight,

a week ago i went to KK!

and not with my parents

(with my ITB gang)

aand it was a road trip instead of flight.

AND drove my own car.

First of everything!

Although it was a really funny story,

from the day we told our parents of our plan

until the very day of the road trip.

hahaha please remember the "patuh" incident

 but it was kinda sad that one of us couldn't make it.

and it really was confusing as well because

the original people in this plan kept ditching

but new people kept turning up hahaha

thanks god the road trip really DID happen after all that fuss.

there were about 10 of us.

yes there were only 3 of us girls.

(wohoo! Master bedroom with en suite bathroom!)

the rest of them, umm...i think they were fine.

they didn't complain so it was all good hehehe.

but let me be honest though,

at first i felt kinda...boring.

hahahahaha

i think because maybe i dont really know the guys well.

like know them, know them well.

besides those two girls lah.

ok so the bunch was from their Frisbee team and degree mates.

and all they talked about is either Frisbee or their coming attachment next year.

so you see where i fit in all of this?

none.

but i got it all through.

tried to jump in their conversation here and there.

tried to make a point that i wasn't really on my phone "all the time"

tried socialising with them.

and then somehow one night,

i talked with one of the guy whom i've never met or known or talked before this.

like ever.

but yeah, we talked.

until 3 in the morning.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

p.s. eleksha, nothing really happened. it was just decent conversation. just talk.

Kotak Hati

Haaaiii

My weekend was such a delight that I don't want to waste my feelings. 

I am in such utter happiness and just, content :)

I mean it was not really good all the way.

I still had some moments where the dark clouds got me to just lay down and stare at the ceiling. (Seriously)

But good nonetheless.

Managed to shove the clouds away.

And yo,

#Hujan10Tahun

This weekend was definitely my

Best. Decision. Ever. 

Although it was kinda crazy considering the week before I too was in KL for one week hahahaha. 

This is the YOLO I'm not regretting.

Met some new people too hahahaa but this one is all thanks to Lukman.

But yeah youknow, whatever. 

The only thing about all this though...

The withdrawal. 

*cries a fucking ocean

But whatever. 

Not tonight.

Just not tonight.

To many moreeeee times like this ❤️

#bucketlistscratched

p.s. Noh Salleh was so so good singing live and cute and funny and everything

Milestone

Last weekend was awesome. 

I never thought it would give me some note-to-selfs. 

So here's the thing,

I never hike in my entire life. 

Like ever. 

I would probably laugh when people are offering me to join them.

Aren't they crazy?

Me? Hiking?

Yeah I'll pass. 

But on one Saturday, everything just changed. 

Boy did i walk in for a surprise. 

My friend said we would be going for a short hike at the Anak Krakatoa. 

"Short hike"

My ass!

I was certain I have never ever felt that way when i was going up the volcano. 

So many crazy thoughts on my way up. 

"What are we doing?"

"Where are we going?"

"Is there something up there?"

"Omg. I cant do this"

"Urrgh. I didnt sign up for this!"

"Panass!"

"Oh god. Im gonna kill you Adlina"

So you see, i wasnt even dressed properly for the hike!

I was wearing a maxi dress!

But the thing is, i kept going you guysss. 

Half of the reason was i couldn't actually stop and rest for a while because the ground was too hot. 

(Volcano. Go figure!)

The point here is

That journey i took to hike up the volcano was something. 

I kept saying to myself that i couldnt do it. 

But my feet kept walking and dragging. 

My breath was unsteady. 

My heartbeat was insane. 

I felt like it was trying to get out of my chest!

But I listened to my body. 

Whenever i felt like blacking out,

I stopped and drank water. 

Took few breathes. 

And start again. 

I'm not writing this as some cheesy cliché of "trying to get fit" journey post.

But i just wanna say that i made it!

And because of the satisfaction.

Oh god. 

The satisfaction.

(Sigh of content)

There was something pure about it and just...very raw. 

No wonder people get high on it. 

Thing from bucket list - scratched! :)

Also,

This happened in Jakarta too:

#jakartailoveyou

Withdrawal Syndrome

Weekends are killing me man.

I just cannot stop thinking about going out on holidays.

Mind you but im on withdrawal syndrome.

We went to KK last weekend.

It was the first after like 8 years or so.

Damn.

We went on road trip.

So most of the time we were all in tourist mode.

I mean, our foreheads most probably looked like a fucking billboard with 'TOURIST' written across it.

But honestly, the trip was still a pain in the ass.

Even with all the renovation to be hassle-free.

Thank god for my pills!

(Quick note: we were all having flu but who cares?)

We went to Sapi Island for some sun and beaches and wind and fish aaaand pigs.

Kidding.

But no seriously though.

There were pigs coming out of nowhere.

The pig and its...babies were eating somebody's kfc.

Having a picnic also lah, oink oink.

Heh.

Note to self:

Whenever you are on holiday and encounter something that you have never done before, DO IT!

Why?

Because why not loh!

Trust me, it will most probably be worth it.

Dude.

We went parasailing and snorkeling.

It was Ahmaazing!

(Except when you accidentally swallowed the sea water. Blekk!)

And snorkeling...it was like looking at an aquarium!

Only now you got to touch the fish!

And the coral reefs!

We also had a crash course on swimming by this guy we just met who I am now still not sure whether he's a lifeguard/tourist guide or just plain stranger.

Or all of the above. (Hahaha!)

But anyway, i am proud to tell i could swim myself onshore that day.

Without life jacket nor snorkel gear.

:8)

You know when you go to Nando's, the workers will greet you enthusiastically?

Yeah that.

We went to Nando's at 1Borneo after pulau.

So we were all curious on what they were actually saying.

And we came up with something like

"Welcome to Nando's!"

"Ibuuuuu"

I know. Ridiculous.

But we were all joining them shouting 'ibu' whenever new customers arrived.

So fun. 

Guess who ended up SO curious to find out?

Me.

Guess who ended up to confront the workers?

NOT me.

Hahahaha i asked my sister to do so.

.

.

.

I dont know what to write anymore.

Thank god for my pills.

Im dozing off now.

x

Pillow talk

When we were in KLCC, i noticed a guy was kneeling on the ground.

Yes, he was proposing to his girlfriend.

Yes, he held out one hand to her.

But...

No, it was not beautiful.

No, it was not sweet.

It was terrible.

Because no one seemed to notice it.

And I, as a bystander, strangely felt obligated to continue witnessing this "magical moment".

And also because the girl kept looking, her eyes wandering, wondering whether people were looking at them.

Looking at her.

Then the girl nodded.

Finally!

And i clapped.

(People still weren't looking at them)

Terrible.

It didn't even come close to what I've seen in movies.

Terrible. Fucking terrible.

Meh, whatever.

On another note, we couldn't take a proper and decent picture that night.

second home...so-called

[I Wanna Be-Avant]

Singapore

i gotta stop making 'peace' sign.its not cool!


(leaving Singapore)

above pictures: time puasa! :D

the nerd with a PSP!

and oh!
kami miss 7-eleven.really!

please ignore the date.salah tu...
malas kan me-setting
blame NANA!