Curve ball

Its been such a long day. 

Just when we are so immersed in the idea of immense happiness,

The Almighty One just decided to throw one curve ball.

To give a little reminder. 

About His promises.  

About death. 

I particularly dont like death. 

Or funeral. 

The emotionals stir in the air are so thick that

You cannot escape from it. 

And now,

No matter how much i try,

To redha with everything,

The loss is just so visible. 

So out there. 

And everyone feels it. 

And yes, everyone grieves differently. 

Memories are all left to serve us.

To honour everything that he had done to us. 

I just hope that no one belittles anyone's memories of him. 

Sharing memories, yes. 

But to belittle somebody else's, just plain no. 

Niyapa,

May you will be placed among those in Jannah. 

And may Allah grants you forgiveness. 

You will always be in our prayers.

And you will be missed greatly. 

Al-fatihah. 

"Will I get married before 30?"

Pre-day

I didnt feel anything at all. 

No anxiety. 

Or excitement. 

Although at one point,

I kinda felt like...sad?

For not having someone to make a big deal out of it.

Pokoknya, sorry for myself.

Pfft. 

But i shoved it all away. 

And then forgot about the whole thing. 

Midnight

Woken up by my phone's constant ring. 

Annoyed by it. 

But when I checked, saw all this balloons and cakes and party hats emojis. 

And i went "oh"

Bahahahaha!

I forgot!

And then i locked and silent it. 

Yep! Cannot trade a good night sleep with mushy messages. 

Before i went back to sleep, i smiled and said

"Happy birthday ka :)"

Sigh.

I admit, I've come so far and learnt many things, yet there are so much more to discover. 

For now, I know I dont need anyone to feel appreciated.  

I can appreciate myself.

*Self hi-five! :)

And to clarify for this post's title,

That was the question i asked to the Book of Answers to which i got:

Finish Something Else First

Now, if only i know what that 'something else' is? Hmm.