my emotional rollercoaster weekend

ha!
first post of 2017.
you know i have been meaning to this.
waaayy ever since on the 31st really.
i even have draft saved in here.
and not even halfway i stopped.
my malas just got the best of me.
yknow, the usual.

what i really know,
or really wanna do for this year is that
to say yes to more things.

because i hope by doing that
it will take me places from my own comfort place.
heh.

so the final trigger that really made me to finally do this
is what happened this weekend.

ha!

so the three of us went to KK.
me, Eqah and Lukman.
just because.
well, actually because Eqah purchased her ticket using Sky miles (free!)
and we were just tagging along.

but Lukman and I (me insisted) opted to just drive there.
big mistake.

get the picture?
I had to sit loooong hours journey, 8 hours to be specific, with Lukman.
and then another 8 hours journey back again.

unbelievable.

i lost count on how many times i have rolled my eyes throughout the journey.
throughout the 3 days!

and during the nights i had to deal with one who is loud snorer and one who currently has cough.
think i zombied couple times the next day and got cranky.
sikit.

and then we have today!
our last day in KK.
and during breakfast - Eqah out of nowhere just started "so anywayy..."
and proceeded to drop a major news.

*cries

well i actually had/have quite a mixed emotions about this.

i mean i can't really say that i didn't know about this.
like i knew what she was going to say when she said that.
i saw it coming.
because let's face it, it's inevitable.

but then i was kinda in shock too.
especially after i found out the when.
because wow it's happening.
like omg. this is real.
this is  H A P P E N N I N G.
one of us is ready for next life phase.
and i'm just...sad.

*goes to the corner and cries an ocean

i remember thinking about this one night.
like i was just thinking to myself - what am i gonna do if that happens??
and then i just got sad about it.
minutes later, i sobered up and told myself i'd deal with it when it comes.
hahahahahahahaha

and well,
it came.
hahahahaha

sigh

oh sucks.

but i need to get out from my sad clouds and bubbles and
just be happy for her.
this is about her.
and her life choices.
and i guess she is ready.

and nothing is far more important than that.

just need to figure out the rest of the feelings as i go.

#sispasrah

my bestfriend <3

Hello, It's Me

This was my Facebook post 6 years ago (thank you Timehop!)

and it's basically the summary of our relationship;

Me and Ade having unnecessary petty, small fight,

Eqah as the tiebreaker (more like silencer),

and to add up this ridiculous post, my then crush liked this post!

hahahaha

---

we're almost at the end of 2015!

and it feels so weird to be at work.

no one actually in the office.

--

oh but to highlight,

a week ago i went to KK!

and not with my parents

(with my ITB gang)

aand it was a road trip instead of flight.

AND drove my own car.

First of everything!

Although it was a really funny story,

from the day we told our parents of our plan

until the very day of the road trip.

hahaha please remember the "patuh" incident

 but it was kinda sad that one of us couldn't make it.

and it really was confusing as well because

the original people in this plan kept ditching

but new people kept turning up hahaha

thanks god the road trip really DID happen after all that fuss.

there were about 10 of us.

yes there were only 3 of us girls.

(wohoo! Master bedroom with en suite bathroom!)

the rest of them, umm...i think they were fine.

they didn't complain so it was all good hehehe.

but let me be honest though,

at first i felt kinda...boring.

hahahahaha

i think because maybe i dont really know the guys well.

like know them, know them well.

besides those two girls lah.

ok so the bunch was from their Frisbee team and degree mates.

and all they talked about is either Frisbee or their coming attachment next year.

so you see where i fit in all of this?

none.

but i got it all through.

tried to jump in their conversation here and there.

tried to make a point that i wasn't really on my phone "all the time"

tried socialising with them.

and then somehow one night,

i talked with one of the guy whom i've never met or known or talked before this.

like ever.

but yeah, we talked.

until 3 in the morning.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

p.s. eleksha, nothing really happened. it was just decent conversation. just talk.

Revel in, Fellow Dorks!

We have been planning for this since forever

Although it was kinda incomplete

So so proud we have come this far.

Can't believe we have grown so much

(even though sometimes inda berakal)

*sheds a single sorrowful tear

Everyone with their own path but

we still have time for each other

Like we could go on not talking for months

without drifting apart

because we are lowkey like that

I don't even know/remember how we are friends bahahahaha

but we are

we just kinda are

I mean

I still remember the time when we smuggled nuggets

to the library in high school.

stashed inside pencil case!

unbelievable 

To many more successful stories and adventures fellow dorks!

Like can we all just agree that us three scored full points in that

#relationshipgoals

#squadgoals

Happy Hour

So ok

Im just gonna do this quick

Cause it's already waaay past my bedtime

(Yes, i have a bedtime)

I dont know what i got myself into.

But i just logged into my fb out of boredom.

And yooo this shit is not cray.

hahahhahaa

Probably the best idea eveerrr.

I mean, 

Stuff we posted there?

When we were like, what?

Early 20s.

The era where i would called it as

"The time when everyone had been a poklen once"

Seriously.

Don't fight me on this.

But thank god we grew out of it

Just as quick!

Phew. 

Ahhh

We were so cool back then

(still are)

Only then,

It was as if the life was...easier?

I dont know.

But im pretty sure, teenage hormones and angst were raging at the time.

We knew so little

Yet act like as if we have already known so much.

kids

hahahahhahahah

But above all,

It's a treasure choke-full with stupid/funny/bad/good times and/or memories.

And here is my favourite of all (i could find) :

2010

And I am so glad that we are still together :

                        

                          2015

Thankful even! <3


This shit is emotional. hahahaha

Fak.


#hormonesss
#thattimeofthemonth

Pillow talk

When we were in KLCC, i noticed a guy was kneeling on the ground.

Yes, he was proposing to his girlfriend.

Yes, he held out one hand to her.

But...

No, it was not beautiful.

No, it was not sweet.

It was terrible.

Because no one seemed to notice it.

And I, as a bystander, strangely felt obligated to continue witnessing this "magical moment".

And also because the girl kept looking, her eyes wandering, wondering whether people were looking at them.

Looking at her.

Then the girl nodded.

Finally!

And i clapped.

(People still weren't looking at them)

Terrible.

It didn't even come close to what I've seen in movies.

Terrible. Fucking terrible.

Meh, whatever.

On another note, we couldn't take a proper and decent picture that night.

let's do this all over again, shall we?

was giggling to myself all the way at the thought of us being together again :)

i can feel how the half of me is back again

i know it sounds cheesy but i do.

im so glad you are here!

ahekahekaheks

i wish im more than just a person

[Kanye West- Love Lockdown]

me want to watch NCIS from the start!

awesome series eh!

oh hey, i havent even finished watching Groundhog Day.

gonna watch it latuuur.

maybe after, The Big Bang Theory.

i miss talking to these assholes

you see, im not all play and no work.

its play and work!

p.s. im really glad to help you out but im not a pit stop, yknow.

I Seriously Want To Marry Ryan Higa

[Marcell - Pantaskah]

yello!
i know ive been missing out but
life has been like a rollercoaster.
but i know i'll be fine.

it's DECEMBER!
maigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, where the hell did the time go?
(typical question, that is)

good times. goood times!
im missing you guys.

like a never-ending nightmare

[30 Seconds to Mars- Closer To The Edge]

I somehow miss si Haziqah Azari.
which then makes me to miss Gyrah and then si Lukman.
and Ade.
but i just miss talking to him lah cause i see his face everyday masih at itb!

i miss the good old times!


but i gotta push this feeling to the side cause i got many assignments and works piling up
and the due date is getting nearer.
(you're getting faster each day,universe!)

and it gets interesting too;

IT KEEPS SHOWING UP!

because you are the perfect boyfriend

[Estrella- Ternyata]

it was just only yesterday when all of my tutorial group went to lunch out together.
while waiting for our orders to come up, they decided to play some card games.
well, most of the time we played big two and bullshit.

the cards were all distributed and we were ready to play.
and that's when one of my friend said
"EHHHH...apani??"

and she showed me this:

i was so surprised, it has becoming like that.
so surprised it was there.
so surprised that i haven't noticed it after all this time.
wont notice it if i hadnt play some game.
so surprised that i could cry.


ehex.



i miss ya, guuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrll!

AAHHHH...SUDAH LAH KAU!

my dearest bestfriend, Haziqah Azari
went to UK on the 22nd September.

be safe. be good.



p.s. yes, i have such a hairy hand.

asking something that won't be fulfilled

finally 19, like the rest of us...

happy burthday!

and they say we don't have the strongest bond of all

[Ne-Yo- Part of The List]

zulfazafirahzulkifli says:

eh awu aaaaaahhhhh!!!

hows your preparation kan?

mati ni eh!

banyak beg kan kau angkut tu!

tpi kau ani lagi yang jenis tulang rapuh

Haziqah Azari says:

sial

zulfazafirahzulkifli says:

sana lagi sajuk. to the bone tu sajuk nya!

Haziqah Azari says:

orang outbound kaleeeeeeeee!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

because i care.

so much that i think my heart is gonna explode.

(sober conversation kami dua malam ani)

"siapa tah kan rindu me mun you bunuh diri :( "

have faith

[Boyce Avenue- On My Way]

it has been a while.
well, what can i say?
i got nothing to tell or rather share with you anyway.
unless, you want to know how fun it is to learn programming concept or internet programming.

it is, though. HEHEHE!

yesterday, marked with me being an ITB student for a month now.
oh wow, one month has passed.
and the stress of juggling with things and to sort it all out is slowly coming to me.
assignments and courseworks and tests.

Baby, you are so full with elements of surprises!!


June result was out the other day.
heh!
maahn, i'm just so grateful for getting into ITB already.
sure, i'd asked for more than this but this route is for me now.
maybe it has something for me in miles ahead.
something far more better than i could ever imagined.
as of now, i'm just gonna enjoy the ride until i find it.

we're the at the end of August already.
which reminds me this:

yaaaah! inda lagi batah :(
if come to think of it, like, really hard, i would probably end up crying.
so...yeah


we've come to this point already ;
us with our own way,
carry on with life and taking it beyond our own little world.

but hey,
im gonna miss us!

kekuatan kamu itu ada di hati kamu sendiri

[Drake- Find Your Love]

there's something about this picture.
seperti ada 'oomphh'
(kalau anda tidak merasakan hal yang sama, kami turut simpati dengan kekurangan anda)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

z! says:
*eh! boring tuuu!
*skill lama sdh tu!
*tani kidnap laki2 atu
*ikat and then torture.
*lapas atu send video nya arh gf nya!
*MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
gyrah says:
*haha! with what?
*haha! aaah!
*shudnt ve let myself down by them
*im stronger than that. what hppnd to me? i almost gave up
*i shud stop being miserable.
z! says:
*in any time, you feel like your world is going down...remember me! HAHAAHAHA
*bt srsly, by then, you would remember that you can always kill them

one of the millions reasons why i love my friends

pasaaal drg awesome tahap dewa!

HAHAHA

strength to stand

[MYMP- Tell Me Where It Hurts]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYAAAAANG!

happy 19th :)

which reminds me, kau ani ada kah inda sudah license?

****************************************************************************************

edited 1:11 AM

si Ade kana rogol.

Siuk drg Akim beninja arh Ade's.

kenapa inda bawa aku?

i hacked into ade's facebook and changed his status, as a gift. from me.

don't you just love it, de?

can't anyone tell the difference?

(does not apply to Haziqah Azari, cause she will notice it right away)

well, maybe i'm that good.

i just know him too well. eseeh!!

cause Ade will definitely cry for something like that.

i mean, he even cried during our last day of junior orientation.

now this? ha!

anyway, my webcam sucks! but only in msn

if skype, lawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :D

salgae

[Jason Mraz- You and I Both]

tidak sekolah

UK exhibition

i love this day!

there are too many happy, funny moments,

i don't know which one to share :)

yet

sungkai arah Nyonya restaurant, Yayasan branch.

and there it was our reservation table of 4 with label of 'zifa' table 16.

supposed it was MY name.

shit! hahaha

tooth pick

wedding = hectic = family = fun
:)

oh btw!
both sayaaaang ku! HAHA

♥

kiraii

[Westlife feat Delta Goodrem- All Out Of Love]

see?
aku menceriakan hari ade!
i'm a good friend :)