contradicting never really help, right?

they say write what you know.

so here is what i know, well, at least for now.

i believe i am still in 'fasa pencarian identiti'

dan fasa pencarian identiti ini sungguh 'suck'

Unbelievably clueless

So my sister has a cat.
She is unbelievably has a fat belly.
We always thought she is just plain fat.
Cause yknow, all she ever do is eat and sleep.

Today when we were playing with her,
Particularly trying to make her do some "exercise"
She was annoyingly clingy and my sister complains how much her weigh nowadays.
And then I heard she was wheezing.

I actually laughed for doing this but out of curiosity,
I googled 'can my cat have asthma?'
And it turned out they can!
But the only symptom that matched her was just the wheezing.
So I thought maybe the cat is so fat that she's having trouble breathing.
Hence, the wheezing.
(that's actually rhyming. Including this thing)

But then I continue googling.
'how do I know if my cat is pregnant?'
Now this is when things getting interesting.
So I found this

The first noticeable sign of pregnancy in a cat is a change in her nipples. Approximately three weeks after mating her nipples will become pinker and more enlarged. This is called 'Pinking'

HAHAHA! Check!

And then;

Your cat may become more affectionate and want more of your attention.

Oh man! That's a check!

There may be an increase in appetite.

Check!

As the pregnancy advances your cat may begin 'nesting' behaviour. She may begin searching for a place to deliver her kittens. She will try to get into closets, cupboards and other secluded places.

Check! (considering the fact that she was hiding under the table)

OH MY GOD! THE CAT IS PREGNANT!

But you see,
When I told all of this to my bibi, she only simply replied me with
"ah sok tahu!"

And there I was, standing more clueless than ever.

Maahn! Doubt is a bitch.

wishing things to happen but

too scared to let it happen

(this is me right now)

you trigger the stalker in me

sorry for the last angry post

i never intend to make this to be a habit

i never intend to be so hateful

hate is a baggage

i should calm down.

but that was on impulse.

down right angry and letting it out.

so, the attachment time is getting to its end.

one month only. hoooyeaaahh!

one time, i get so excited cause i cant wait for holiday.

the other time, i feel like im gonna miss my attachment place and the people.

oh well.

lately,

i have so many scenes inside my head that i have to write it all down.

like they all keep repeating in my head that i just have to.

write it down, i mean.

whats the point in doing that?

i really dont know but at least my mind is finally shutting up.

unfortunately, for a while.

oh well.

now,

i have nothing else to say.

i do but it seems pointless.

oh well.

Celaka lah you!

I never get it why people would treat me like dirt
Sure, I don't care at all but who are we kidding right?
IT HURTS LIKE "BAIE KALI KAU ANI!"
You know what I mean?

I know karma and paying back and all that sorts
But to humiliate me as an addition?
That is just taking it to a whole new level!
That shit makes me wanna think twice why did I ever end up with an asshole like you.

So okay, I've dealt with lots of your sick jokes.
And you probably answered me like 'mcm inda biasa saja kau ani'
But that act you pulled, that's just like a turning point.
A...uhh, slap in the face!

Sigh

Maybe I sound childish but fuck you!
No one have the right to treat me like that.
Let alone you, to have the privilege to be the first!

Oh god, I hate you.
And you know what, I think I've always been.
You have unresolved issues and just go cry to your mommy!
With this look upon your face:



Yeah, retarded face!
Even a 5 year old can pull that one.
Maybe you can do it much excellently.
Because you know, only YOU can do things way better than anyone else.


Go die lah you!