zen interrupted

Forewarning: profanity

just when you started to feel in peace again,
just when you started to feel "ok, frrressh start",
just when you started to feel everything's gonna be fine,

and shit decided to throw it's first punch.

HERRRRRGGGHHHH!

i had that part of my life buried so deep that
i had amnesia when trying to recall it back
even though there are constant reminder but
i just decided to feel indifferent to it
like "fuck yeah im alright"

but the thing is,
life lovesss to pull out jokes.
life itself is a fucking joke.

like fucking seriously though?

what the fuck?
came out of nowhere and texted me "hi"
*rolls my eyes so hard i might need surgery to fix it right

i mean, fuck you.
it freaked the fucking hell out of me.
disturbed my fucking zen and
just fucking gotta be an additional pain to what i was currently feeling.
ergh!

i admit, i had a minor panic attack.
my hands were shaking and
my mind was in shambles and distorted.

it was as if my past trying to haunt me back,
after all the burial i have made.

fuck you for blindsiding me.
you should have stayed gone.
because i said bye for real.
and it was meant to see you never!
good fucking riddance.

fuck you for showing up and then what?
expect things from me?
the fuck!

and shit,
why were you fucking running around in circles?
fucking turning tables on me.

like you don't even have the fucking balls
to fucking say whatever you wanted to tell me.
without playing games.
fucking say it to my face, asshole.

like i had to give up waiting
for you to give me answers.
i mean, i would probably go crazy!
trying to level down with your stupidity.

you really are the most stupidest person
i have ever met.
E V E R !

what the actual fuck do you want?
that i would be "concerned" to
whatever you were saying?
to the "truth"?
to the current "state" you are in?

oh and not to forget that you
"honestly i miss u"
*vomits a fucking ocean

like ok...

first of all fucker,
don't get yourself fucking deluded.
we weren't exactly "a thing"
nothing serious was going on.

second of all,
do guys still expect girls to waver at sweet nothings?

that shit was such centuries ago.

fucking act like your age.
maybe there is your side of the whole fucking story.
and maybe you have your own reasons
for every stupid things that you have done.
but honestly though,
i don't care.
i just, don't fucking care.
i don't want to get myself involved anymore fuckeries.
especially from you.

like i'm telling you straight up here.
no reading between the lines.

stay gone, asshole.