discipline and determination for 2014

[One Republic - If I Lose Myself]

Remember when I said I want to set up a tradition of writing up something every new year's eve?
Yeah, still no.

Things to be thankful for in 2013:

• little bundle of joys was born on 30th March :)

• received 3 months worth of allowance from ITB, supposedly for graduation. The cause which made me broke down and bawled my eyes out.

• got a job offer as an apprentice in Anduki after 5 months of being an unpaid driver which had made me an anti-social and official kermit and after went through several interviews, depression and emotional breakdown episodes.

• what the fuck did i buy for my very first paycheck?

• finally found closure on something that had been going on at least 4 years. It's all in my head after all.

• lesson learnt: DO NOT GET HUNG UP ON THINGS/PEOPLE!

• bumped into another wall when i didn't pass the assessment (Mini SRD) Actually, i only needed 0.5 to pass it. (I KNOW!)

• after some (more) emotional breakdown, i finally let go and accept things. Weeks later, after some confusing emails and several assumptions later, I apparently am given another/second "chance" So yeah, another assessment to kill and score.

• understand that as you go further, you'll meet some people who are worth your time and some worth your fist. It's so much like high school, only now you cannot act so juvenile.

• went to KL for the very first time! With best friend to visit another best friends. Because doing things on impulse is exhilarating. and fun.

• I WAS ACTUALLY SCRATCHING SOME THINGS OFF OF MY BUCKET LIST!

• "Fuck it! I'm young!" (as bold as this may sound, it actually helps. use and apply to any other (appropriate) circumstances)

• realised some of my school mates are now either married/engaged/have kids. And here i am and be like "I'm perfectly happy where I am now"

• also, i already asked my mom to be a matchmaker. I literally hand over the job to "search good-guy-good-husband material for me" to my mom. hahahahahaha but seriously.

I think that's pretty much it.

or maybe i'm just so malas to think now.

mind you, it's now almost 4:00 AM.

so for this new year of 2014,

i am looking forward to what i can do/achieve more.

also lastly,

for every questions i have now

that cannot be answered by logics or common sense 

are now only come to one answer.

I just have to focus and discipline myself more towards that.

bye for now :)

x