A cold heartless bitch

I'm sorry i can't really hide what i feel.
I'm sorry i can't really hide how my facial expressions reflect my feelings.

I'm sorry I've been giving you cold stare.
I'm sorry how i not acknowledge you when you are around.
I'm sorry i make it awkward.
I'm sorry for all the bad feelings you may have that I've caused.
I'm sorry for everything.

This is just me trying to do good.
I think.
I guess, i reached that part where i can't take it anymore.
I snapped.

I don't hate you.
I don't.
I just hate it that you seem to take everything away from me.
I hate that you seem to be everyone's favourite.
I hate that you seem much more important to everyone.
I hate that you seem to take my role.

Don't you get it now?
You're fucking replacing me.
And I know that you didn't mean it.
I know how that's not really what you are doing.
But I just can't help but feel that you are.

I mean, doesn't it bother you if you are being replaced by somebody else?
Doesn't it break your heart?
Doesn't it make you feel like inadequate?

Or maybe its just me.
I just can't seem to open up to things.
To people.
I can't seem to trust anyone.
To become part of something that I'm protective about.

So for now, I hope you understand why I do the things I do to you.
I don't really like you right now.
And to avoid me from snapping and hurt you and everyone else,
I rather to stay away from you.
Can't you see it?
This is my effort in taking everyone's feelings into account.
Please understand.
This may seem heartless and stupid and childish or any fucking thing that you can think of.
Because it does.
But this is the only way I know how.

So please understand.